| Date | Home team | Score | Away team | Competition |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 31 Oct 2010 | Maldon Saints Greens | 5-2 | U13s Swifts | K.O Cup |
Match report for 31st October 2010
Reported by Al Murray
This is your favourite reporter wishing you all a very Happy Halloween. After a mid-season break all players have reported back from international duty with a clean bill of health. The Swifts had a league cup game and were drawn out of the hat away to Maldon Saints.
Transport manager Dave Dif Gravy had arranged a fleet of horse drawn pumpkins to take the legion of swift fans to Maldon, and as Chef steward Big Ken herded the troops in to the awaiting carriages, Tony The Tiger Burgess and Slimline Hammond were discussing the song for the journey. The entertainment was started off with a spooky rendition of The Monster Mash, followed by Thriller, with Del Reggae Reggae joining in. Soon the crowd were throwing pumpkin seeds and flesh at the offending trio and Big Ken had to intervene and made the boys sit up front in the horse’s nosebags until they had reached their destination.
The team started a good warm up and the starting line-up today was Owen, Josh, Aaron, George, Thomason, Luke, Jolan, Jason and Jack with Thomas and Jovette starting up front. Bench warming today was Ben, Joe and William. Maldon kicked off and the Swifts knew that they were in for a tough game. The Saints got quickly into their stride and went 1-0 up. This seemed to spur the Swifts into life and they began to play their best attacking game that we have grown used to seeing this season, and it wasn’t long before Josh found Jack and then the ball was with Jason, who passed two Saints with ease and crossed for Jovette to volley a cracking goal into the top corner that deserved a place in the premier league. With the score level we saw the Saints start playing some very good football but came up against some solid defence and a rock of a goalkeeper in Owen. Close to half-time the Saints had a great shot which came off the post forcing Owen into a great double save. This was the last shot of the game and the teams came off the pitch, the Swifts having played a fantastic first half holding a team two divisions above them at a 1-1 draw. Well done to the boys.
As a treat (or trick?) the guys decided to do their balloon dance, but with pumpkins instead of the more traditional balloons. Tony The Tiger Burgess, followed by Slimline, Al Murray, Mastic Paul and the Chuckle Brothers, Jeff and Alan, led out the guys onto the field. Resident D.J. Ryan Grace started playing the balloon dance song and with the entire troop in the buff they stared exchanging pumpkins. This sent the girls into frenzy and they started to throw anything they could to put the team off so that they would drop their pumpkins and more would be revealed. All was going well until Del Reggae Reggae realised that the pumpkins were from his patch and Tony The Tiger had stolen them the night before. He let out a loud ‘’Oi’’ and Tony knew the game was up and started to sprint across the field, followed in not pursuit by Del and his wheelbarrow shouting ‘’I need those pumpkins for my special reggae reggae pumpkin sauce.’’ Soon Slimeline and the rest of the group realised they weren’t going to get away with it and all side stepped their way off the pitch, which brought Mrs Reggae Reggae Hazel to her knees with laughter and she had to borrow Jessica’s wheelchair to calm down in. After Delroy had retrieved all of his stolen pumpkins the 2nd half could begin.
Half-time subs were Joe on for Josh and Ben on for Owen. The Swifts kicked off and a couple of chances for Jovette and Thomas were off target. The Saints carried on playing well and scored two quick goals that made the Swifts jumped back into action and some great play saw Luke shoot one of his now famous goals to bring the game to 3-2. Tony brought the last sub, William, on for the last 20 minutes to try and get an equalizer. The Swifts defence were being put to the test as the players up front couldn’t find a goal, and the Saints broke out with two more goals of their own. The whistle was blown and the final score 5-2 to the Saint. As the boys left the field, the Swifts were gutted that the had lost, but all had tried their hardest and ran themselves into the ground.
Tiger Burgess said to all the boys they had done well for trying and that they are at the top of our division and their game has been improving with every match. Special praise goes out to all the boys, who keep playing and never give up till the final whistle.
Man of the match today went to the rock in goal Owen, who pulled off some great saves in the first half and kept the score at 1-1. Well done Owen.
This is Al Murray saying ‘best of British’ and see you all next week.