| Date | Home team | Score | Away team | Competition |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 Sep 2010 | U13s Swifts | 8-1 | Braintree Town | League |
Sunday 12th September
Home against Braintree Town.
This is guest reporter Al Murray welcoming everyone back for the new season ahead. The Swifts have had a busy summer with Dave (Dif Gravy) and his beautiful wife Julie (Horse oils) Grace giving us a new member of the Swifts future players in the form of baby Kieran. He came into the world late August, so congratulations from everyone at the Swifts. Tony has been busily bringing new players to the team in the form of Thomason, from Radars, and Luke, from Fennlands, both on free transfers. Two player sadly left the team the summer. Charlie Byfield was released on a free transfer and Emily was transferred for an undisclosed fee to an all girls team. Meanwhile, Wendy has dipped into the bleach again to stand out in the crowd with a lovely head of blonde hair.
The Swifts are starting this season in the Blackwater and Dengie Division 3, and are playing their first season as an 11-a-side team. After a couple of pre-season friendly matches, the boys were ready for their first competitive game.
The Swifts line-up today were Owen in goal, Josh, George, Aaron, and Thomason as the back four, Jolan, Luke, Jason and Jack as the midfielders with Jovette and Thomas up front. Subs for this match were Ben and Joe Burgess and poor William in the treatment room with a broken arm.
After winning the toss, the Swifts decided to kick off. They started well with Jolan putting them in front after five minutes, but Braintree town are a new team and were making it very hard for the Swifts to play their normal attacking game in the midfield. The boys pushed through and soon came goal number two. Jason worked well down the left and picked out Thomas, who was unmarked, who slotted the ball in to bring the Swifts to 2-0 in fifteen minutes. Having picked up a thigh strain in one of the pre-seasons George couldn’t play on and was subbed by Joe. Tony had to subsequently drop Luke back into a defence position and Joe came on as a midfielder. The Swifts were now playing some nice football, with all the midfielding ‘J’s making some good runs, and Jovette and Thomas having a few good shots on goal, so it wasn’t a surprise when Jovette found the back of the net just before half-time. With the score at 3-0, the Ref blew the whistle and the Swifts came off to a round of applause from the home supporters. A good half, with the defence and Owen having a quiet time.
The new players parents provided the half-time entertainment, as by way of initiation. Luke’s dad Alan and Thomason’s dad Jeff had to go onto the pitch and sing a song chosen by the crowd. After much deliberation, it was decided they should sing the duet originally sang by Kylie and Jason ’Especially For You’. Jason, aka Alan, and Kylie, aka Jeff, took to the field and were doing very well until Jeff tripped in his heels and the beautiful blonde wig, that he looked so good in, slipped over his eyes and (as he toppled over) took Alan down with him, both ending up in a heap on the grass. Delboy (Reggae Reggae) was soon on the pitch clearing the debris into his wheelbarrow for the second half to commence.
The gamed kicked off with Ben replacing Owen in goal. The Swifts were soon into their stride and Jovette found the net again to get his second of the match to make it 4-0. This seemed to spur on the Braintree players and they started to attack more and our midfielders were putting on a united front, but after another Swifts attack Braintree broke away and scored a good goal, leaving Ben in no position to save it. At 4-1, the Swifts kicked off and Jason started running at the opposition’s defence, beating three players and knocking the ball into the net to bring the score to 5-1 with five minutes to go. The Swifts were not happy with this score and proceeded to make another three goals with Thomas scoring his second of the game, followed by Jovette, to make his first of many hat tricks of the season no doubt, and Jason scoring another good individual goal at one minute before full-time to bring the final score in at 8-1.
A good start to the season for the Swifts, but I’m sure that there are some bigger challenges ahead for the boys. Thomason and Luke both had a great game for their league debuts, with Josh doing well at the back as well as Jovette and Thomas starting where the left off last year by scoring goals with Jason, and Jolan providing the width.
Tony (The Tiger) said it was very hard to choose a man of the match as all the boys played to their full potential in this game and both the pre-season friendlys. He eventually chose Thomason, who he felt had played really good in all the games and had settled in well to the new team.
Well done to Thomason, and wishing you all the best of British, and see you all next week!
From Al Murray.